The codependency wound in relationships

Codependency is the biggest feminine block, it is a deep seated wound that stems from your ancestors/family line or past trauma. It is an imbalance in the Sacral Chakra which results in emotional instability, unhealthy attachments & more. This wound takes away our feminine power, it leaves us seeking external validation because we are not feeling worthy, whole or in tune with our true-self. Therefore, it creates a need to find this validation through external sources in different areas of life, personal & professional. It can show up in family relations, romantic relationships & work relationships.

Romantic relationships

The codependency wound causes women to have unhealthy relationships with men. Women have been programmed to seek certain types of men, based on their material wealth or status. Based on meeting some criteria or checklist. This is actually feeding the codependency wound, because it is encouraging women to date men not based on love but on what the man can provide for the women in order for her to feel safe & validated. This takes all the power away from women, because we are externalizing it to the man & expecting them to validate us in many ways. There is nothing wrong with seeking a better lifestyle, however if you are seeking it through a man that is the issue here. Many women have been fed the lie & programmed that they must have a man to feel worthy at all, this again is the issue. There are gender roles, however I believe in balance. The balance of the feminine & masculine energies in a relationship, this is true love. If there is an imbalance within you it will reflect in the partners you attract.

In my own case I was going for “affluent men” because I wanted to be validated through the status & money! This is true for a lot of women, believe it or not it is a codependency wound! This is why I know & understand that this is a false program which feeds the codependency wound & takes the power away from women. I did not have enough clarity to see it at the time & a lot of women don’t see it because they are under false conditioning. This wound created unhealthy relationships with men for me & I was attracting narcissists. The wound will attract toxic relationship patterns until you understand that these relationships are highlighting your own feminine disempowerment that needs to be healed.

The narcissist dynamic

If you suffer from codependency you will most likely attract narcissistic people who are there to reflect to you your own internal imbalance & disempowered state. This can show up in all of your relationship dynamics & is a chance to overcome your own blocks. It is a chance to take back your power & heal. Sometimes we don’t heal much during the relationship but we understand it is not healthy. We understand on some level that the relationship is toxic but your unhealthy attachment to the narcissist will keep you in the relationship. The narcissist will want to be validated just as much as you want to give them the validation in order to validate your own self-worth. They will drain your energy & you will over-give to them in order to feel worthy & loved. The narcissist is one of those in your face type of examples of a toxic & unhealthy relationship. It can mirror to you a lot of hidden aspects of yourself that you refuse to see or cannot see, it will mirror your shadow self.

Family Codependency

The codependency wound can show up in family relationships, this is something I have personally experienced. It can show up in many ways but one way is being too attached to family members. It can also show up in narcissistic family members taking advantage of you or walking all over you. Sometimes we don’t see that a relationship is toxic, especially with family members. But the codependency wound can make you over-give to family, not have healthy boundaries & give all your power away.

Friends & Professional

The codependency wound can show up with friends & in the professional sector. We may have a toxic friend or coworker or boss who we feel like we need to please. Remember, over-giving & feeling like you need to validate someone else in order to validate yourself is codependency! Most of the time it will be reflected in narcissistic people, this is why attracting narcissistic people is very common when you have a codependency wound.

Main aspects of the codependency wound

These are some of the main aspects to watch for when you have codependency in any relationships:

• too attached, unhealthy attachment

• emotional instability

• people pleasing, over-giving

• seeking validation

• anxiety issues

• easily attached in relationships

• feeling unsafe, unstable & unworthy

• lack of self-worth or connection to your true divine self, out of touch with your spiritual nature